I’ve struggled with my hearing loss over the past few years. It has progressively gotten worse over time. I was born completely deaf in my left ear, and as of now, I have barely 50 percent hearing left in my right. And, as I’ve said, its been very hard. I struggle to keep up with simple conversation lately. I usually end up asking someone closer to me to repeat what others are saying. I’m currently re-learning sign language and I have to admit it’s pretty hard to learn at this age and I feel like kicking myself for not sticking to it when I was younger. Being the only deafie in the family, it was hard to stick with it when I was the only one learning and using it. Anyways, I guess I am just going to have to work twice as hard at this as I do everything else.
There are perks to having such substantial hearing loss. I live in a very quiet world. All I have to do to focus is take my hearing aid out. I can read lips from across the room which can be pretty hilarious most of the time. And even though I’m learning still, soon I will be able to speak one of the most beautiful languages on the planet.
There are also cons. Being called disabled when you consider yourself to be perfectly normal. Being judged and people getting irritated because you can’t hear them. Always having to use all your energy to follow conversations. Needing captions to watch pretty much anything.
I guess it could be worse. Its just lately, at work, I’m having a hard time keeping up and as my hearing is getting worse, so is my ability to keep up my speed. I have people make snide comments towards me. I even had a woman tell me that they “shouldn’t hire people like me”. And while I have heard these comments most of my life, it still hurts me. When my coworkers think its funny to nickname me “deafkid” it hurts. Because I AM going deaf. And it’s not fun. But they are hearing so they don’t get that it hurts me and since I laugh it off and go along with it, they think its okay. That is my fault for not saying anything. So I guess its time to step up and say something.